The Inside Noise.

Recently, a mom of one of Red’s preschool friends was hit by a car while walking in a store parking lot. Yes – walking. In a parking lot. Simply doing her day to day which was completely turned upside-down in a flash. The day it happened, when I picked Red up, the Director at his school shared the information with me because it was going to be on the news. The mom was in critical condition.

I have been thinking so much lately about how quickly time goes by – life in general actually, and how in an instant things can change. This morning when I asked the preschool teacher how the mom was doing, she said she was in pain, but is home and doing much better. Thank God. She then shared with me the story of how on the day of the accident was a day she had off, and she had seen the mom in the parking lot, probably moments before and greeted her with a cheery hello and they talked for a few minutes and were on their way. When she heard about the accident she was shocked.  It gave me goosebumps hearing how her encounter had happened just before such a tremendous turn of events.   

These kinds of experiences are so powerful. To me, they are reminders that time is fleeting. Relationships with our most loved are important and worth heavy investment. Kindness and generosity go a long way. My priorities in life are these few things.

Aside from this accident that hit too close to home, I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately, which is probably why so many of my posts have been about family time, memories, thoughtfulness and good intentions. I strive to be a better person for myself and my babes. Mike and I are the examples that they will follow, and just as I am always reminding Red to make good choices, be a good listener, and be a leader, I have to bear this in mind for myself as well.  I know I am probably coming across all sugary and sound like some unrealistic, sentimental, cliché-loving, self-righteous sap. I don’t care. Sometimes (and maybe more often than not) it is necessary to simply let the stuff that we define as “big” take a back seat to the little moments, which are far more  life-giving than money, material desires and work. 

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(This would be proof that we don’t take ourselves too seriosuly…)

It’s terrible that it takes a tragic event to catapult us back to the basics. When did life become so cluttered with outside noise anyway? Obviously my house will never be quiet with two crazy boys running around. Of course chaos comes with the territory when you have kids, but I can’t even remember what life was like before they came along.  They create the inside noise I want to focus more intently on.  I think recently my goal has been to redefine and rearrange all of the “importants.”  My family has always been at the top of the list, but I am now starting to freshen my outlook in other areas as well because if you believe it, and begin to live it – it will be.    (I made that up, but gosh it sounds impressively deep.)

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I love the colorful, creative, drawn outside the lines, inquisitive, think outside the box mishmash of lovely, if crazy, household ours has become, but it is not always picture perfect.  The boys are not always on their best behavior, toys are scattered everywhere (EVERYWHERE), food is stuck to the kitchen floor, laundry remains in baskets, and the “big” stuff (like money and bills) creeps its way back into my little euphoric mindset…and we get swallowed up again.  It’s not always as easy as I like to daydream it is. 

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But at the end of the day – at the end of our days – I want to look back on life and think that we made a concious efforts to hold the small stuff closest.  The chaos and clutter and noises from the “inside” will become my “happy place,” just like how when sit at my desk and my eyes glaze over as I think about my sweet babies faces and the love I’ll get when I walk through the door….ahhhh.  And how I look back at how much Red has grown up in the past five years and even Roo in only 15 months.  TIme.Goes.By!!!

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So while I know that we can’t ignore reality, or control every aspect of danger, or live every day like it’s our last, I want to be able to live in the moments of the small stuff now, and someday recall how the rambunctious, loud, sweet, laughing, charming moments that we shared as a family were the best of times, and the most important events, and the ones I remember most clearly – even if they were lived on a most monotonous day. 

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2 thoughts on “The Inside Noise.

  1. Mariel

    Loved this post, Tracy (minus the accident… I hope she has a quick recovery!)! Everyone needs to be reminded of this.. I know I continuously try to keep myself in check when my mind is wrapped up in bills and money. Keep on keepin’ on girl, you’re doing fabulous!! Xoxo

    Reply

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